I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…
“Mr Cook?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”
I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
It was a hot summer night.
Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple...
I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
What is a Zebra?
A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds?
A dinosaur with the hiccups.
Why does the chicken is sad?
Because his dad is a cock.
Why does the chicken is even more sad?
Because he faces the same future.
Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad?
A: Dady issues!
Q: What is a thespian pony?
A: A little horse play