I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
It was a hot summer night. Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple... I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds? A dinosaur with the hiccups.
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad? A: Dady issues!
Q: What is a thespian pony? A: A little horse play