I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
It was a hot summer night. Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple... I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds? A dinosaur with the hiccups.
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad? A: Dady issues!
Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.