Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
Vote:
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
Vote:
Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an oppossum.
Knowing that mother oppossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal.
Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it.
They take it into the car and continue down the road.
The little oppossum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what she should do?
He thinks for a minute and says, " Well it's used to being in it's mother's pouch.
Maybe if you unbutton your jeans, and put it in "there" it will calm down."
She exclaims, " I'm not going to do that!
That thing is smelly and nasty!"
The husband replies," Well, why don't you just hold it's little nose!"
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
Vote:
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
It's a place of udder delight.
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
Vote:
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
What do ducks wear to party's?
A duck-sedo!