How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight.
When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage.
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back? A: To keep its nuts dry
Two Bear Hunters Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours? A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband? A bullfighter.
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.