Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours?
A: So he could hide in the crayon box! 
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
Vote:
A woman got on a bus holding a baby.
The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers.
He could be fired for that."
"You're right," she said.
"I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!"
"That's a good idea," the man said.
"Here, let me hold your monkey."
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.
Two cows were talking.One cow asked the other"
I wonder what hamburgers are made of?"
The other cow replied "YOUR MOM!
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?
A bullfighter.
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE."
It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York.
So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him.
When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE."
The policeman arrested her on the spot.
What’s the difference between goats and women??
Goats are always horney.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed?
You can smell the carrots on his breath.