The best animal jokes

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, marriage, wife
Q:Why did the cow cross the road? A:To go to the moo-vies.
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has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
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has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog, fish, husband
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an oppossum. Knowing that mother oppossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal. Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it. They take it into the car and continue down the road. The little oppossum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what she should do? He thinks for a minute and says, " Well it's used to being in it's mother's pouch. Maybe if you unbutton your jeans, and put it in "there" it will calm down." She exclaims, " I'm not going to do that! That thing is smelly and nasty!" The husband replies," Well, why don't you just hold it's little nose!"
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, war
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
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has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids
What do ducks wear to party's? A duck-sedo!
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, party
How are tigers like sergeants in the army? They both wear stripes.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
Two cows were talking.One cow asked the other" I wonder what hamburgers are made of?" The other cow replied "YOUR MOM!
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
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