The best animal jokes

Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
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has 75.29 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, Yo mama
Baby Rabbit: "Mommy, where did I come from?" Mother Rabbit: "I ll tell you when you re older." Baby Rabbit: "Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now." Mother Rabbit: "If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat."
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has 75.27 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: age, animal
A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on. "If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?" The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."
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has 75.25 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"
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has 75.18 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!
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has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, time
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax
Q: What animal has the most kids. A: A sperm whale.
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, kids
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, men
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
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has 74.86 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, divorce, sport
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