The best animal jokes

A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman: - Do you have any bananas? - No,I don't. ( says the barman) - Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey) - No,I have not got any bananas! - Do you have any bananas? - If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter! - Do you have any nails? - No,I don't. - Do you have any bananas?
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, food
A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, travel
Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he wants as a pet, so he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet. He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders, rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store and he goes to the area where the parrot was and salesman asks him, "Are you interested in this parrot?" The man says, "Does he talk?" the salesman says, "If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!" The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both legs at the same time?" The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!"
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's the difference between a tiger and a lion? A tiger has the mane part missing.
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today, gone tomorrow.
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?" The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
You mama is so fat when we went to the beach the whales sang, "We are family."
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has 73.46 % from 312 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, fat, Yo mama
A Girl was towelling her wet pussy. She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until... ...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away. Moral Lessons 1. Be kind to Animals 2. Always keep your thoughts clean...
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has 73.46 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, women
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
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