Joke #3087

A little girl asks her Mom, "May I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No honey, the dog is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your Father. I think he's in the garage". The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat and said I should ask you". Her Dad said, "Bring Susie over here". He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear end with it and said, "Ok, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block". The little girl leaves and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Her Dad asks, "Where's Susie?" The girl replies, "Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block -and there's another dog pushing her home!

Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.

What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.

Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.

Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.

When does a female deer need money? When she doesnt have a buck.

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.

Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I'd climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?

If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? "Beeflt!"

How are tigers like sergeants in the army? They both wear stripes.