A little girl asks her Mom, "May I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No honey, the dog is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your Father. I think he's in the garage". The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat and said I should ask you". Her Dad said, "Bring Susie over here". He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear end with it and said, "Ok, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block". The little girl leaves and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Her Dad asks, "Where's Susie?" The girl replies, "Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block -and there's another dog pushing her home!
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all
What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer? A full bull.
What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale? Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop? A: Hopspital.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.
Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!