The best animal jokes

Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
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has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, Yo mama
A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: "Purebred Police Dog $25." Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered. The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen. In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad, "How dare you call that mangy-mutt a purebred police dog?" "Don't let his looks deceive you, ma'am," the man replied, "He's in the Secret Service."
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has 70.43 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop
Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable? A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
Little lad is sitting between his Mum and Dad on the sofa and they are playing a game about what sounds animals say. His Mum says "What does a duck say Tommy?" He says"Quack quack Mummy." His Mum says "Very good Tommy,that's right." She says "What does a dog say?" He says "Woof woof Mummy." She says "Very good." She says "What does a cat say?" He says "Meow meow Mummy." She says "Yes that's right." Tommy says "Let Daddy have a go." His dad says "Ok Tommy,what does a cow say?" The little lad looks confused and his Dad says "Come on Tommy you know what a cow says." Tommy says "Yes I do but do you mean a cow that eats grass and gives us our milk, or the one you where talking to Uncle John about, that said you could'nt go to the Stag show with him?"
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, game, insulting
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story. "Once upon a time there was a white bunny..." "Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?" "Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said. "Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...." "Dad, a little more grown up!" "Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown. " I swear!" "Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
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has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, science
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.
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has 70.35 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
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has 70.33 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
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has 70.31 % from 519 votes. More jokes about: animal, Facebook, technology
Q: What's worse than having termites in your piano? A: Crabs on your organ.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
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