The best animal jokes

There is a Bar in Calumpang who have has a Horse and they have a contest of it. Whoever will make the horse laugh will win P5,000 and free drinks. So a man from Manila comes in and the Bartender looks at him and he ask for a beer and he ask the Bartender about the contest. The Bartender tells him that whoever makes the horse laugh will win P5,000 and free beer on the house. So this guy whisper something to the horse and the horse rolls over and laughing! EEEHHH! He takes the P5,000 from the Bartender, drinks a lot of beer. As he is about to leave the Bartender ask him, "Will you be back tomorrow when we'll have a new contest?" The guy replies" Of course this is easier money than my career." So the next night.  The guy walks into the Bar with a large smile and reads the sign next to the Horse: Whoever makes the Horse cry will win P10,000 and free beer from the house. The Bartender tells the guy," Let me see you win this one." The guy approaches the Horse and shows him something. The Horse starts rolling on the ground and crying. When the guy goes to claim his prize. The Bartender says." Before I pay you, You have to tell me what you did to the horse?" The guy lights a cigarette and says," Easy the first time, I told the Horse that my penis is larger than his, the second time I showed him."
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has 69.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, money
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
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has 68.99 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: animal, democrat
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
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has 68.95 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: animal, democrat, doctor, political
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
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has 68.81 % from 264 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, redneck, sex
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
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has 68.79 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Megasoreass.
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has 68.78 % from 628 votes. More jokes about: animal, gay
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
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has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What type of bees make milk? A: Boo-bees.
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has 68.59 % from 761 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, sex
A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, "I don't know. It all happened so fast."
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.
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has 68.55 % from 248 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, time
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