The best animal jokes

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
What do you call an operation on a rabbit? A hare-cut.
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has 69.96 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked. "I am." said the man. "I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?" The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one." "No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said. "Here's your chicken." said the farmer.
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has 69.93 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse, old people
Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh!
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has 69.93 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
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has 69.92 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
Q: What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school? A: Bison.
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has 69.90 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, game
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, lawyer
Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle. "I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk. The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, mean
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