The best animal jokes

Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh!
Vote:
has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
Vote:
has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, Yo mama
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A: A milk shake.
Vote:
has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal
A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" "Africa," says the parrot.
Vote:
has 69.20 % from 1064 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, beauty, black people, parrot
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup." Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A magician had landed a comfortable job on a cruise ship. His act was rendered hilarious by his parrot who would ridicule the magician after every trick, saying "Big deal, the cards up his sleeve." or "He put the ball in a hidden floor, the big faker!" One night the ship began to sink and while confusion reigned, the magician was just barely able to get to a tiny life boat with his beloved parrot. For two days the magician and parrot floated on the rough seas. Strangely, the parrot sat on the opposite end of the craft just staring at the magician. Finally, on the fourth day, the parrot screamed ‘"kay, I give up… where the hell did you put the god damned boat!"
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man has his car full of penguins. He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him. He says. "Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!" The man does that. The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins. Once again he drives past the policeman. "Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!" "I did," replies the man. "We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."
Vote:
has 69.14 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, lawyer, life
Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!
Vote:
has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
Vote:
has 68.72 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting
<<<28293031
More jokes →
Page 28 of 153.