A panda walks into a bar, sits down and order a sandwich.
He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for Panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
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Milked out.
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Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
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A: He was having a bad hare day!
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
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A nerd herd.
One day a man heard knocking at his door.
He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling.
The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could.
Three years later he heard knocking at the door again.
He opened the door to see the snail.
The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"
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