The best animal jokes

Your mom's so dumb, she threw the dog and told the stick to fetch!
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has 70.25 % from 346 votes. More jokes about: animal, stupid, Yo mama
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist.
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has 70.18 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, food, racist
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks." The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks." They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, death
What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal
Are shellfish warm? No they re clammy.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked. "I am." said the man. "I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?" The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one." "No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said. "Here's your chicken." said the farmer.
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse, old people
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school? A: They get their masters.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, school
Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, mother in law
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