The best animal jokes

Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, money
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
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Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
Vote: has 68.73 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
What is a nigger? Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
Vote: has 68.68 % from 335 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, black people
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Vote: has 68.65 % from 235 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter said with admiration. "Thanks," the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," the firefighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cat, dog, work
Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh!
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Megasoreass.
Vote: has 68.58 % from 597 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, gay


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