The best animal jokes

What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist.
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has 69.17 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, food, racist
Q: What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school? A: Bison.
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has 68.97 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: animal
An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?" "About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies. The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"
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has 68.97 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time. When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
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has 68.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, food, military
Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, game
Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle. "I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk. The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, mean
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
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has 68.78 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, easter, sex
How do you tell if a black girls pregnant? Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
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has 68.69 % from 515 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, kids, racist
A Mom goes to the store shopping. She tells to the children, "Your father will return very drunk. Undress him down to the waist and put him to sleep." "Why to the waist", the children interested. "Because your father has a large snake below and it can bite you." The mother returned and her children met her at the door, "Mom! Mom! Dad came home! We undress him all and put him to sleep." "Are you undressed him the entire", mother worried? "What happened with the snake?" "Don't worry, Mom!" proudly answered the children. "The snake was strangled with dad's belt, her eggs were trampled and the nest was burnt."
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has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, drunk, life
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