The best animal jokes

Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini? A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
Vote:
has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
A mouse and an elephant are walking through the forest. The elephant falls in a hole so the mouse gets his Porsche throws a rope down into the hole and pulls the elephant out. So they continue walking and the mouse falls into a hole. The elephant throws his dick into the hole and the mouse climbs out. Moral of the story: if you have a big enough dick you don't need a Porsche.
Vote:
has 68.41 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, dirty, elephant
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black." "No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black." The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears black from here."
Vote:
has 68.38 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
Vote:
has 68.14 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, men, women
Q: What type of bees make milk? A: Boo-bees.
Vote:
has 68.08 % from 673 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, sex
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
Vote:
has 68.00 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, easter, sex
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.
Vote:
has 68.00 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and order a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for Panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
Vote:
has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What animal has the most kids. A: A sperm whale.
Vote:
has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, kids
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
<<<30313233
More jokes →
Page 30 of 153.