There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."
Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Megasoreass.
How do you tell if a black girls pregnant? Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda? A berry bubbly bunny.
What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper.
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
Q: What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school? A: Bison.