Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
What's the best way to make a bull sweat? Put him in a tight jumper !
What did the calf say to the silo? "Is my fodder in there?"
What do you call a tired cow? Milked out.
What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
What did one dairy cow say to another? Got milk?
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?" Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"