What do dinosaurs put on their floors?
Rep-tiles.
Why don't lobsters share?
They re shellfish.
Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
Squidnappers.
Q: Which side of a deer has the most meat?
A: The inside.
What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer?
A lot of bites.
What happened when the shark became famous?
He tured into a starfish.
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hi, honey."
Two flies sit on a pile of poop.
One fly passes gas.
The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
Vote:
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls.
The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
Vote:
A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around.
After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter.
"That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor.
"Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store.
As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him.
The further he walked, the more rats followed.
He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him.
So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned.
He returned to the store shortly.
"Ah-ha!" said the proprietor.
"You've come back for the story, right?"
"Nope," said the man.
"You have any brass lawyers?"