How do they name Chinese baby's? They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.
Saw this bumper sticker in L.A. - "I'm not drunk, I'm Asian"
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can't drive.
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
How do you know if an Asian robbed you? Your homework is done and cats gone.
My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over – and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
My teacher sends this Chinese kid out of the classroom cause she thought he was sleeping. -_-
Q: What do you do when your computer gets wet? A: Put it in a bowl of rice, an Asian will show up and they will fix it.
What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.
If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice. Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.