The best baby jokes

When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, phone, women
What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
Vote: has 25.64 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, kids
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
Vote: has 23.33 % from 99 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, disgusting
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
Vote: has 22.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, beauty, black humor
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
Vote: has 20.85 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
Vote: has 20.21 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, dirty
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
Vote: has 19.99 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, Christmas, disgusting, health
What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Vote: has 19.71 % from 99 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, car, disgusting
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
Vote: has 17.00 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting, dog
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Vote: has 16.66 % from 158 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dead baby, disgusting, life, sex