The best baby jokes

What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Vote: has 31.81 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting
Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
Vote: has 31.03 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, IT, marriage
How do you unload a truck of zombie babies? With a pitchfork.
Vote: has 31.03 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, phone, women
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Vote: has 25.12 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor
What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
Vote: has 24.44 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, kids
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
Vote: has 24.15 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
Vote: has 23.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, beauty, black humor
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
Vote: has 22.62 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, disgusting