The best baby jokes

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
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has 73.29 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, school
My girlfriend always wanted to know the future job of her baby; so the other day when we were making sex suddenly she farted. I told her: "Your baby will be a bugler."
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has 73.25 % from 378 votes. More jokes about: baby, fart, relationship, sex, work
Two girlfriends meet again after a few years. One is pushing around a baby buggy. The first girlfriend looks at the baby and is perplexed. "Black skin? Blue slit eyes? A blonde afro? How did you do that?" Murmurs the other woman. "Damn gangbang! At least he doesn't bark!"
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has 72.45 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, racist, sex, time
Do you know why babys cry when they are born? Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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has 72.31 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: baby, Chuck Norris
What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: baby, food
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
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has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, life, marriage, sex
Nurse: "If youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half." Me: [visibly confused] Wife: "The grapes, not the baby."
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has 71.45 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, wife
On a cold day of January, I went to visit one of my friends in his house; it was snowing and my friend urged me to stay the night with him. They had only 2 rooms one for themselves and other for their baby; so I suggested to rest in baby' room. In middle of the night, I need WC which was in the garden and was so difficult for me to go there. I thought some moments then decided to change my place with the baby. I did so. And pissed in the place of baby; when I returned to change again I saw that the baby had shitted in my bed!
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has 71.37 % from 330 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting, friendship, winter
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.” A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.” The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”
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has 71.34 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids
What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.
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has 71.19 % from 339 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
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