A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what?
We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
Your mamas so skinny she swallowed a meatball n thought she was pregnant.
My girlfriend always wanted to know the future job of her baby; so the other day when we were making sex suddenly she farted.
I told her: "Your baby will be a bugler."
Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
Vote:
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby.
The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.”
A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.”
The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”
On a cold day of January, I went to visit one of my friends in his house; it was snowing and my friend urged me to stay the night with him.
They had only 2 rooms one for themselves and other for their baby; so I suggested to rest in baby' room.
In middle of the night, I need WC which was in the garden and was so difficult for me to go there.
I thought some moments then decided to change my place with the baby.
I did so.
And pissed in the place of baby; when I returned to change again I saw that the baby had shitted in my bed!
Vote:
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
What do you call a baby potato?
A small fry.
Nurse: "If youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half."
Me: [visibly confused]
Wife: "The grapes, not the baby."
Our baby was born last week.
When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
When the kids are in college.