The best baby jokes

After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. "What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."
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has 74.24 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, christian, little Johnny
On a cold day of January, I went to visit one of my friends in his house; it was snowing and my friend urged me to stay the night with him. They had only 2 rooms one for themselves and other for their baby; so I suggested to rest in baby' room. In middle of the night, I need WC which was in the garden and was so difficult for me to go there. I thought some moments then decided to change my place with the baby. I did so. And pissed in the place of baby; when I returned to change again I saw that the baby had shitted in my bed!
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has 73.79 % from 316 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting, friendship, winter
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
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has 73.69 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, school
Your mamas so skinny she swallowed a meatball n thought she was pregnant.
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has 73.38 % from 262 votes. More jokes about: baby, Yo mama
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.” A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.” The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”
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has 72.64 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids
Do you know why babys cry when they are born? Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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has 72.60 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: baby, Chuck Norris
Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mum asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
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has 71.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, kitty
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, celebrity, life, music
Nurse: "If youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half." Me: [visibly confused] Wife: "The grapes, not the baby."
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has 71.56 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, wife
Two girlfriends meet again after a few years. One is pushing around a baby buggy. The first girlfriend looks at the baby and is perplexed. "Black skin? Blue slit eyes? A blonde afro? How did you do that?" Murmurs the other woman. "Damn gangbang! At least he doesn't bark!"
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has 71.09 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, racist, sex, time
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