The best baby jokes

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
Vote: has 74.02 % from 92 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, kids, school
Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mum asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
Vote: has 73.56 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, kids, kitty
Your mamas so skinny she swallowed a meatball n thought she was pregnant.
Vote: has 73.22 % from 244 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, Yo mama
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Vote: has 72.31 % from 111 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, women
Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, "I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this..." "Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault."
Vote: has 72.27 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, couple, hospital, sex, women
Two girlfriends meet again after a few years. One is pushing around a baby buggy. The first girlfriend looks at the baby and is perplexed. "Black skin? Blue slit eyes? A blonde afro? How did you do that?" Murmurs the other woman. "Damn gangbang! At least he doesn't bark!"
Vote: has 72.18 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, dirty, racist, sex, time
Why is making toast like an interracial couple having a baby? It's annoying when it comes out black.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 173 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black people, racist
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.” A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.” The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”
Vote: has 71.62 % from 96 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, kids
"Yes brother," says Paddy. "Well I'm going on a business trip soon and if she gives birth while I'm away, I want you dear brother, to name the kids," says Mick. "It'll be an honour to do that for you Mick," says Paddy. A month later Paddy calls Mick. "Hello Mick, your wife's given birth to a boy and a girl, their beautiful," says Paddy. "That's wonderful Paddy, what did you call them?" says Mick. "I called the girl Deniece," says Paddy. "And what did you call the boy?" "I called the boy De nephew."
Vote: has 70.83 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, business, family, kids
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. "What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."
Vote: has 70.75 % from 128 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, car, christian, little Johnny


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