The best baby jokes

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
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has 73.37 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, school
Your mamas so skinny she swallowed a meatball n thought she was pregnant.
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has 73.28 % from 265 votes. More jokes about: baby, Yo mama
My girlfriend always wanted to know the future job of her baby; so the other day when we were making sex suddenly she farted. I told her: "Your baby will be a bugler."
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has 72.97 % from 374 votes. More jokes about: baby, fart, relationship, sex, work
Do you know why babys cry when they are born? Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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has 72.89 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: baby, Chuck Norris
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.” A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.” The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”
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has 72.35 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids
On a cold day of January, I went to visit one of my friends in his house; it was snowing and my friend urged me to stay the night with him. They had only 2 rooms one for themselves and other for their baby; so I suggested to rest in baby' room. In middle of the night, I need WC which was in the garden and was so difficult for me to go there. I thought some moments then decided to change my place with the baby. I did so. And pissed in the place of baby; when I returned to change again I saw that the baby had shitted in my bed!
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has 72.08 % from 327 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting, friendship, winter
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, celebrity, life, music
What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: baby, food
Nurse: "If youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half." Me: [visibly confused] Wife: "The grapes, not the baby."
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has 71.09 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, wife
Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.
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has 70.75 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: baby, college, kids, marriage, wife
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