The best baby jokes

What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, food
One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the carriage and said, “See the doggy?” Suddenly I felt foolish talking to my baby as if she understood me. However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his dog, and said, “See the baby?”
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, dog
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, blonde, sex, stupid
Q: How do Asians get their name? A: They throw a pan down the hall and listen to the noise. Example: Dong Ching Lau.
Vote: has 67.53 % from 166 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, fat, mean, single, time
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. "Great," said the teacher, "that's very important." Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. "Well, that has to do with it too," said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, "Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education." "Yes it does," said Johnny, " it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne."
Vote: has 65.51 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, little Johnny, school, sex, teacher
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dirty, life, marriage, sex
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, Chuck Norris