The best baby jokes

After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. "What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."
has 71.20 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, christian, little Johnny
Why is making toast like an interracial couple having a baby? It's annoying when it comes out black.
has 71.15 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: baby, black people, racist
Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.
has 70.68 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: baby, college, kids, marriage, wife
What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.
has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, food
Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
has 70.13 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.
has 69.50 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, life, marriage, sex
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
has 69.11 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: baby, dad, doctor, math, wife
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.
has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, sex, stupid
One day little Johnny asked his teacher "So you know how most stores have 'you break it you buy it' rule? The teacher responded "Yes why?" Johnny said "Well do you think if you were to be looking at babies to adopt and dropped one that the orphange would make you buy it?"
has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, customer service, kids, little Johnny, teacher
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