The best baby jokes

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.
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has 71.27 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: baby, college, kids, marriage, wife
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, life, marriage, sex
Nurse: "If youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half." Me: [visibly confused] Wife: "The grapes, not the baby."
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has 70.34 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, wife
What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.
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has 70.04 % from 268 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, food
One day little Johnny asked his teacher "So you know how most stores have 'you break it you buy it' rule? The teacher responded "Yes why?" Johnny said "Well do you think if you were to be looking at babies to adopt and dropped one that the orphange would make you buy it?"
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has 69.55 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: baby, customer service, kids, little Johnny, teacher
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
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has 68.77 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: baby, dad, doctor, math, wife
A little boy was so exited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother. He repeated that to his techer every day, when he came to school, "Im getting a brother." One day his mom alllowed him to feel the baby's kicks in her belly. The next day he came to school and didnt say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happend to his brother. He replyed, "I think mommy ate him."
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has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, school, teacher
Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
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has 68.10 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: baby, celebrity, life
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