The best baby jokes

"Yes brother," says Paddy. "Well I'm going on a business trip soon and if she gives birth while I'm away, I want you dear brother, to name the kids," says Mick. "It'll be an honour to do that for you Mick," says Paddy. A month later Paddy calls Mick. "Hello Mick, your wife's given birth to a boy and a girl, their beautiful," says Paddy. "That's wonderful Paddy, what did you call them?" says Mick. "I called the girl Deniece," says Paddy. "And what did you call the boy?" "I called the boy De nephew."
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has 71.22 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: baby, business, family, kids
A little boy was so exited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother. He repeated that to his techer every day, when he came to school, "Im getting a brother." One day his mom alllowed him to feel the baby's kicks in her belly. The next day he came to school and didnt say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happend to his brother. He replyed, "I think mommy ate him."
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, school, teacher
Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.
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has 70.90 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: baby, college, kids, marriage, wife
My girlfriend always wanted to know the future job of her baby; so the other day when we were making sex suddenly she farted. I told her: "Your baby will be a bugler."
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has 70.58 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: baby, fart, relationship, sex, work
What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.
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has 69.74 % from 233 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
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has 69.60 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
A kid asks his mom "why his sisters' middle name is Paris?" "Because that's where we conceived her." "Next, I was going to ask why my middle name is Chevy but now I know why."
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, family, geography, sex
Why is making toast like an interracial couple having a baby? It's annoying when it comes out black.
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has 69.27 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: baby, black people, racist
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
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has 68.97 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: baby, dad, doctor, math, wife
After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked, "What steps would have prevented you from leaving?" My answer: "Birth control."
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, medical, work
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