The best baby jokes

Two girlfriends meet again after a few years. One is pushing around a baby buggy. The first girlfriend looks at the baby and is perplexed. "Black skin? Blue slit eyes? A blonde afro? How did you do that?" Murmurs the other woman. "Damn gangbang! At least he doesn't bark!"
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has 70.72 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, racist, sex, time
One day little Johnny asked his teacher "So you know how most stores have 'you break it you buy it' rule? The teacher responded "Yes why?" Johnny said "Well do you think if you were to be looking at babies to adopt and dropped one that the orphange would make you buy it?"
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: baby, customer service, kids, little Johnny, teacher
"Yes brother," says Paddy. "Well I'm going on a business trip soon and if she gives birth while I'm away, I want you dear brother, to name the kids," says Mick. "It'll be an honour to do that for you Mick," says Paddy. A month later Paddy calls Mick. "Hello Mick, your wife's given birth to a boy and a girl, their beautiful," says Paddy. "That's wonderful Paddy, what did you call them?" says Mick. "I called the girl Deniece," says Paddy. "And what did you call the boy?" "I called the boy De nephew."
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has 70.33 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: baby, business, family, kids
Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
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has 70.18 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.
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has 69.93 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
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has 69.79 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: baby, dad, doctor, math, wife
Why is making toast like an interracial couple having a baby? It's annoying when it comes out black.
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has 69.58 % from 203 votes. More jokes about: baby, black people, racist
A conversation among my Children's Church a while back. A little girl announced proudly to our class one day, "My mommy has a baby in her belly!" The little boy next to her was mortified! "Why did your mommy eat a baby!"
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: baby, church, family, kids
Q: What's the idea of a blonde of natural childbirth? A: No make-up.
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: baby, beauty, birthday, blonde
A little boy was so exited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother. He repeated that to his techer every day, when he came to school, "Im getting a brother." One day his mom alllowed him to feel the baby's kicks in her belly. The next day he came to school and didnt say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happend to his brother. He replyed, "I think mommy ate him."
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, school, teacher
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