The best baby jokes

A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Vote: has 72.35 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, women
Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mum asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
Vote: has 72.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, kids, kitty
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.” A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.” The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”
Vote: has 71.97 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, kids
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
Vote: has 71.86 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dad, doctor, math, wife
Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, "I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this..." "Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault."
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, couple, hospital, sex, women
Why is making toast like an interracial couple having a baby? It's annoying when it comes out black.
Vote: has 70.48 % from 142 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black people, racist
Stonehenge was made by Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
Vote: has 70.45 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, Chuck Norris
Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.
Vote: has 70.44 % from 138 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, college, kids, marriage, wife
What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.
Vote: has 69.40 % from 144 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, celebrity, life