The best baby jokes

After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked, "What steps would have prevented you from leaving?" My answer: "Birth control."
has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, medical, work
My girlfriend always wanted to know the future job of her baby; so the other day when we were making sex suddenly she farted. I told her: "Your baby will be a bugler."
has 71.13 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: baby, fart, relationship, sex, work
Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.
has 70.52 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: baby, college, kids, marriage, wife
"Yes brother," says Paddy. "Well I'm going on a business trip soon and if she gives birth while I'm away, I want you dear brother, to name the kids," says Mick. "It'll be an honour to do that for you Mick," says Paddy. A month later Paddy calls Mick. "Hello Mick, your wife's given birth to a boy and a girl, their beautiful," says Paddy. "That's wonderful Paddy, what did you call them?" says Mick. "I called the girl Deniece," says Paddy. "And what did you call the boy?" "I called the boy De nephew."
has 70.33 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: baby, business, family, kids
What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.
has 69.90 % from 227 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
has 69.66 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
A conversation among my Children's Church a while back. A little girl announced proudly to our class one day, "My mommy has a baby in her belly!" The little boy next to her was mortified! "Why did your mommy eat a baby!"
has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: baby, church, family, kids
Why is making toast like an interracial couple having a baby? It's annoying when it comes out black.
has 68.99 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: baby, black people, racist
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
has 68.87 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: baby, dad, doctor, math, wife
Q: What's the idea of a blonde of natural childbirth? A: No make-up.
has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: baby, beauty, birthday, blonde
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