The best baby jokes

Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mum asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, kids, kitty
A little boy was so exited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother. He repeated that to his techer every day, when he came to school, "Im getting a brother." One day his mom alllowed him to feel the baby's kicks in her belly. The next day he came to school and didnt say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happend to his brother. He replyed, "I think mommy ate him."
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, kids, school, teacher
What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.
Vote: has 68.54 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot? A: A baby with a razor!
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, life
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Vote: has 66.75 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies? A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, baby, memory, women
Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
Vote: has 66.69 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, baby, black humor
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, family, holiday, lawyer, marriage