Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
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Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion?
A: It was too current.
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates.
The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?"
No.
The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?"
No.
The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck."
The farmer shot Chuck.
Q: What do lipstick and mascara do when they get in a fight?
A: They make up.
Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram
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Kind of surprised hipsters haven't started tying their beard's in man buns yet.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet?
A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
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Man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his p*nis.
Lady asks, "What are you?"
He says, "I'm a fireman."
"But you're only wearing a glass jar," says the woman.
He says, "Exactly, in an emergency, break glass."
Pull knob and I'll cum as fast as I can!"
Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon?
A: Because there is no shopping centre.
Standing beside a valiant stallion, a beautiful blonde decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous riding experience.
Soon, she finds herself atop the horse's back, galloping through a lush green meadow.
Unsuspecting, the horse suddenly picks up speed and she finds herself euphoric over the freedom she is experiencing.
Once again, the magnificent animal picks up speed except this time her inexperience gets the better of her.
She finds herself barely able to hang on.
The startled horse is now in a dead run and the beautiful blonde finds herself hanging off to one side of the horse, her head just inches from the ground... catastrophe seconds away.
She begins to frantically scream for help when all of a sudden...
Frank, the Wal-Mart door man, calmly walks up and unplugs the ride.
A really bad impressionist walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Why the wrong face?"
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