Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? A: Because red means Stop.
Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight? A: She wanted to get a dark tan.
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon? A: Because there is no shopping centre.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist? A: Cool music!
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A: Married.
A really bad impressionist walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the wrong face?"
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”