Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
Hipsters hate rivers. Too mainstream.
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession? A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?" His friend nods. "Sure." "Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..." He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin. His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment. "Dude, that is not cool." The doctor, indignant, defended himself. "What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients." His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist? A: Cool music!
Teen Girl to Friend: "For the prom, I'm renting a limo, spending $500 on a new dress and bringing in the best makeup artist in the state to do my hair." Teacher who has overheard the conversation: "Wow, that's more than I spent for my wedding!" Teen Girl: "Yeah, well you can get married three or four times, but a prom is a once in a lifetime experience."
Q: What is the only thing you will ever hear being said to a Mexican wearing a 3pc suit? A: "Will the defendant please rise".
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.