Chuck Norris can milk birds.
Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment!
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. "Where were you? I was worried sick." "It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show? A: The feather forecast!
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark? A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
Q: What's brown and white and flies all over? A: Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chainsaw!
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
Birdie, birdie in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I'm a big girl I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.