Q: What's brown and white and flies all over? A: Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chainsaw!
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!
Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. "Where were you? I was worried sick." "It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment!
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show? A: The feather forecast!
Yo' Mama is so poor, she steals her breakfast from backyard bird feeders.
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?