Q: Where do birds meet for coffee? A: In a nest-cafe!
Yo mama is so fat when she farts its noise is just a nightingale.
David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity. Those that weren’t expletives, were to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments. He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’ll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.” David was astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, “May I ask what did the chicken do?”
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark? A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
Q: How do you identify a bald eagle? A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment!
Q: What is a parrot's favorite game? A: Hide and Speak!
Q: What's brown and white and flies all over? A: Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chainsaw!