The best bird jokes

Yo' Mama is so poor, she steals her breakfast from backyard bird feeders.
Vote: has 65.02 % from 5 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, insulting, money, Yo mama
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bird, death, parrot
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
Vote: has 61.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, dirty, food, kids
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?" The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue." The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. "Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo." "Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bird, car
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bird, health, parrot
There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day. They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs. Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one. They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him. They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do. So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing. They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog could do. Finally one of the blondes was sick and tired of waiting, she suddenly shouted out: "THAT’S IT! We’ll give this dog one more chance. We’ll throw him up in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly we’re taking him back to the STORE!"
Vote: has 51.61 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, blonde, dog, love
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, geography, travel, winter
The Boyfriend says to his blonde girlfriend, "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up in the sky and says "Where?"
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, blonde, death