The best bird jokes

David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity. Those that weren’t expletives, were to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments. He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’ll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.” David was astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, “May I ask what did the chicken do?”
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More jokes about: animal, bird, birthday, parrot
Q: What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A: A pecking order.
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More jokes about: bird, life, religious
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death, travel, winter
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee? A: In a nest-cafe!
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, bird
Yo mama is so fat when she farts its noise is just a nightingale.
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More jokes about: bird, fart, fat, Yo mama
An aircraft is flying when all over sudden a bird crashes through the cockpit and kills both the pilot and co pilot. Having heard the crash a blonde flight attendant rushes in to find out what happened. Once inside the cockpit the plane jerks and the cabin door slams shut and can't be opened. So she pulls the captain out of his seat and sits down, taking the radio into her hands and says, "May Day! May Day! Help Me! Help Me! The pilots are dead and I don't know how to fly. Help Me! Please Help Me!" She hears a voice over the radio saying: "This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position!" "I'm 5'4 and in the front seat of the plane." "O.K." says the voice on the radio. "Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven..."
Vote: has 67.90 % from 109 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: air force, bird, blonde, stupid, travel
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!
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More jokes about: bird, Halloween, technology
Q: How do you identify a bald eagle? A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
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More jokes about: beauty, bird
Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework? A: A firequaker!
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Q: What is a parrot's favorite game? A: Hide and Speak!
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bird, communication, game, parrot