Q: What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A: A pecking order.
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. "Where were you? I was worried sick." "It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
An aircraft is flying when all over sudden a bird crashes through the cockpit and kills both the pilot and co pilot. Having heard the crash a blonde flight attendant rushes in to find out what happened. Once inside the cockpit the plane jerks and the cabin door slams shut and can't be opened. So she pulls the captain out of his seat and sits down, taking the radio into her hands and says, "May Day! May Day! Help Me! Help Me! The pilots are dead and I don't know how to fly. Help Me! Please Help Me!" She hears a voice over the radio saying: "This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position!" "I'm 5'4 and in the front seat of the plane." "O.K." says the voice on the radio. "Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven..."
Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment!
Q: What is a parrot's favorite game? A: Hide and Speak!
Q: How do you identify a bald eagle? A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
Yo mama is so fat when she farts its noise is just a nightingale.
Q: What's brown and white and flies all over? A: Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chainsaw!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?