Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
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The woman opposite the road from me called me a pervert earlier, I don't know why!
Knowing she likes bird watching I asked her if she'd like to come over and have a look at my twelve finches.
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!
What happens when you kiss a canary?
You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day.
They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs.
Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one.
They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him.
They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do.
So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing.
They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog could do.
Finally one of the blondes was sick and tired of waiting, she suddenly shouted out: "THAT’S IT! We’ll give this dog one more chance. We’ll throw him up in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly we’re taking him back to the STORE!"
Q: What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party?
A: "You're not owld enough."
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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