The best birthday jokes

Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever... I wonder where shes going ?
Vote: has 50.29 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, marriage, wife
Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday... The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
Vote: has 49.54 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, black humor, death, fish, time
Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.” The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.” One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.” Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers. The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!” Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?” Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison… “We were at your birthday party yesterday!”
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, birthday, old people, party
First boy: "Are you having a party for your birthday?" Second boy: "No, I'm having a witch do." First boy: "What's a witch do?" Second boy: "She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."
Vote: has 49.00 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, kids, party
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. "Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread." "That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday."
Vote: has 45.33 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, chocolate, food, kids, mean
Yo mama is too black like she was born in a burning hospital.
Vote: has 38.25 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, black people, hospital, racist, Yo mama
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
Vote: has 33.71 % from 75 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, black humor, dead baby, dog, morbid
Q: What is your date of birth? A: December 30th. Q: What year? A: Every year
Vote: has 26.16 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, birthday
What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
Vote: has 15.27 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, birthday, disgusting, women