The best birthday jokes

On the morning a cop walks into a bar and sees his wife with two of his best friends. He takes a sit on the table behind them to eavesdrop then his wife says "let's have him kidnaped." A poor guy heartbroken pulls out a gun and shoots them all and runs back to his house to grab some cash and clothe to escape. When he finally reached his house and opens the door everyone yells happy birthday!
has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, cop, friendship
I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
has 52.96 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: animal, birthday, dog, food
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Halloween, ugly, Yo mama
Q: When will scientists cure the common cold? A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
has 51.31 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: birthday, medical, political, republican, science
Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday... The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, death, fish, time
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, Chuck Norris
July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.
has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, holiday
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, time
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