On the morning a cop walks into a bar and sees his wife with two of his best friends. He takes a sit on the table behind them to eavesdrop then his wife says "let's have him kidnaped." A poor guy heartbroken pulls out a gun and shoots them all and runs back to his house to grab some cash and clothe to escape. When he finally reached his house and opens the door everyone yells happy birthday!
I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever... I wonder where shes going ?
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Q: When will scientists cure the common cold? A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday... The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.