This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card.
She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual.
The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.”
The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”
A couple had been married for 30 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday.
During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world.
I wish we could travel all over the world."
The fairy waved her wand and POOF!
She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn.
He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
Its my birthday today.
My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever...
I wonder where shes going ?
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
Vote:
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early.
No one surprises Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Q: When will scientists cure the common cold?
A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
Vote:
Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
July 4th is Independence day.
And the day Chuck Norris was born.
Coincidence? I think not.
Vote:
Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
Vote:
First boy: "Are you having a party for your birthday?"
Second boy: "No, I'm having a witch do."
First boy: "What's a witch do?"
Second boy: "She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."