Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
Once chuck norris and time had race. Result: The time is still running.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.