The best black humor jokes

Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, terrorist, women
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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More jokes about: black humor, church, death, divorce, wedding
What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
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Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.
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More jokes about: black humor, food
It's a slow day in heaven, so St. Peter decides to show a new guy around. St. Peter shows him all of the sights: the golf course, library, observation deck, cafeteria and a huge room full of clocks. "What's up with those clocks, Peter?" "Everyone on Earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the gates to be judged." The guy notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. St. Peter tells him that every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds up his clock. The guy notices one clock in the center of the ceiling with both hands whirling around at an unbelievable rate. "What's the story with that clock?" "Oh, that," St. Peter replies. That's George W. Bush's clock. We decided to use it as a fan."
Vote: has 74.62 % from 153 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, golf, heaven, political
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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More jokes about: black humor, history, mean, women
One step forward, 12 floors down.
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I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
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More jokes about: black humor
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
Vote: has 73.48 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven