The best black humor jokes

Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”. Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have a color TV”.
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has 76.01 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, work
A daughter wakes up at 3 a.m. and asks her mother: "Mummy, tell me a fairy-tale." "Daddy will get back soon and he will tell both of us a fairy tale..."
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has 75.95 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, family, husband
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
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has 75.92 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, husband, love, wife
What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall.
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has 75.79 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: black humor, music
Old man: "Can you give me an erection?" Faith Healer: "I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer. But, I'm sorry I cannot raise the 'dead'."
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has 75.65 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, death, old people
A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
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has 75.43 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, funeral
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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has 75.41 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, democrat, funeral, money
Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body. I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
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has 75.34 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, cop, death, gym
Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.
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has 75.34 % from 389 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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has 75.17 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, time
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