The best black humor jokes

A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
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has 76.12 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, funeral
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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has 76.11 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, time
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
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has 75.95 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, husband, love, wife
What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall.
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has 75.74 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: black humor, music
A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news." The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?" "The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life." "Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?" The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
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has 75.73 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”. Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have a color TV”.
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has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, work
A daughter wakes up at 3 a.m. and asks her mother: "Mummy, tell me a fairy-tale." "Daddy will get back soon and he will tell both of us a fairy tale..."
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has 75.57 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, family, husband
Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body. I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
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has 75.46 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, cop, death, gym
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
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has 75.28 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, life, war
This could be considered the ideal world for many men: His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties. His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy. A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
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has 75.18 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, family, life, men
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