The best black humor jokes

A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
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has 76.54 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: black humor
W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing? A: Everywhere.
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has 76.53 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: black humor
My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104. We called her Aunt Tique.
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, family
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
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has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health, kids
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people. It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch. Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
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has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, geography, memory, money, old people
Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion? "Ask your sister" "I don't have a..."
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has 76.22 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. "I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks." "But I could be dead by then!" "No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."
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has 76.21 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, office, time
There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working on the top of a cliff. The Englishman said, "If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff." The Scotsman said, "If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The Irishman said, "If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The next day, the Englishman had cheese, the Irishman had ham, and the Scotsman had jam. So they all jumped. At the funerals, the wives of the Scotsman and Englishman said, "Why didn't they just tell us they didn't like their sandwiches?" The Irish lady said, "I don't know why my husband jumped off the cliff. He made his own sandwiches."
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has 75.99 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: black humor, funeral, husband, racist, wife
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
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has 75.95 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news." The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?" "The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life." "Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?" The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
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has 75.92 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: black humor
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