The best black humor jokes

What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall.
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has 76.74 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: black humor, music
There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working on the top of a cliff. The Englishman said, "If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff." The Scotsman said, "If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The Irishman said, "If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The next day, the Englishman had cheese, the Irishman had ham, and the Scotsman had jam. So they all jumped. At the funerals, the wives of the Scotsman and Englishman said, "Why didn't they just tell us they didn't like their sandwiches?" The Irish lady said, "I don't know why my husband jumped off the cliff. He made his own sandwiches."
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has 76.69 % from 258 votes. More jokes about: black humor, funeral, husband, racist, wife
A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news." The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?" "The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life." "Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?" The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
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has 76.68 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: black humor
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
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has 76.59 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, life, war
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
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has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health, kids
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
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has 76.19 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.
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has 76.11 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor, money
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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has 76.04 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, democrat, funeral, money
Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body. I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
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has 75.97 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, cop, death, gym
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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has 75.94 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: black humor, life, men, morbid, time
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