The best black humor jokes

"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
Vote: has 73.40 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
Patient: "Are you sure that you can do this operation safely?" Doctor: "That is what I want to find out myself."
Vote: has 73.22 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, doctor
An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?" His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive." The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal. "Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot. The couple climbs in the helicopter. The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter. The couple never made a sound. The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides." The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
Vote: has 73.13 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, couple, death, money, old people
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.
Vote: has 73.13 % from 106 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, kids, music
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common? A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
Vote: has 73.11 % from 144 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, morbid, Yo mama
This old man and woman were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat it read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her very most private part was an oyster and inside it was a pearl worth $50,000 ...please advise." So the old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap..."
Vote: has 73.10 % from 169 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, old people, wife
Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex? A: Lefty.
Vote: has 72.77 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, communication, dinosaur
A blonde hops on and off a curb on a busy street, saying 54 over and over. A brunette walks by and asks what the blonde is doing. The blonde replies that she is jumping on and off the curb saying 54 over and over. The brunette joins her. Soon, the brunette gets hit by a passing car. The blonde watches as the car drives away. The blond then continues to jump on and off the curb, saying 55 over and over.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, blonde, car, communication, driving
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, money
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, food, Hitler, work


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