The best black humor jokes

A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"
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has 73.45 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, church, kids, love
Patient: "Are you sure that you can do this operation safely?" Doctor: "That is what I want to find out myself."
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has 73.40 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor
I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying "Fireworks". How right they were.
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has 73.31 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), stood up, bent over and squeezed his chest. This caused a huge gush of green liquid to spew all over the table; the other six immediately began to eat this green liquid. I think a lot of food went uneaten that night.
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has 72.91 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: black humor
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
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has 72.74 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: black humor
My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over – and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
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has 72.47 % from 320 votes. More jokes about: asian, black humor, death, hospital
The worst place to have a heart attack is during a gama of cherades. ...Especially if the people you are playing with, are really bad guessers.
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has 72.34 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black humor
How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
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has 72.21 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people. It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch. Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
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has 72.05 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: black humor, geography, memory, money, old people
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