The best black humor jokes

Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go". First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds. Bill chooses Hell. About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons. Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?" St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
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More jokes about: beauty, black humor, heaven, women
Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes? A: The execution.
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More jokes about: black humor, terrorist
A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"
Vote: has 71.16 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, church, kids, love
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
Vote: has 70.92 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven
Q: Where do one-legged people eat? A: IHOP.
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More jokes about: black humor
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.
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More jokes about: black humor, food
Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
Vote: has 70.33 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree. He's been hanging there for quite a while.
Vote: has 70.33 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, black people, family
So a little kid and a child molester start walking into a forest. They keep walking for what seems like hours, and it gets darker and darker and darker, and the forest gets deeper and deeper and deeper. The kid turns to the child molester and he says "Gee mister, it sure is scary out here!" The child molester says "How do you think I feel, kid? I'm gonna have to walk out of this forest by myself!"
Vote: has 69.86 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Halloween, redneck, wife