The best black humor jokes

Patient: "Are you sure that you can do this operation safely?" Doctor: "That is what I want to find out myself."
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has 73.40 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor
What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile.
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has 73.40 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: black humor
I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying "Fireworks". How right they were.
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has 73.31 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: black humor
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.
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has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, money
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people. It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch. Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
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has 73.01 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, geography, memory, money, old people
A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"
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has 72.95 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, church, kids, love
Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), stood up, bent over and squeezed his chest. This caused a huge gush of green liquid to spew all over the table; the other six immediately began to eat this green liquid. I think a lot of food went uneaten that night.
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has 72.91 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Black humour is like a pair of legs. Not everyone has it.
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has 72.83 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: black humor
W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing? A: Everywhere.
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has 72.70 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: black humor
The worst place to have a heart attack is during a gama of cherades. ...Especially if the people you are playing with, are really bad guessers.
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has 72.34 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black humor
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