The best black humor jokes

I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store. I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...
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has 74.78 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: black humor
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, relationship, time
Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”. Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have a color TV”.
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, work
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
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has 74.51 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don't like your friend." The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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has 74.36 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying "Fireworks". How right they were.
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has 74.15 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, church, death, divorce, wedding
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
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has 73.93 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: black humor, lawyer
This old man and woman were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat it read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her very most private part was an oyster and inside it was a pearl worth $50,000 ...please advise." So the old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap..."
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has 73.81 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: black humor, old people, wife
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