The best black humor jokes

Old man: "Can you give me an erection?" Faith Healer: "I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer. But, I'm sorry I cannot raise the 'dead'."
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has 77.32 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, death, old people
A Serb and an Albanian from Kosovo found a lamp, rubbed it and the Ginnie showed up in front of them. "I will grant you three wishes for setting me free out of this lamp. But, since there are two of you, one can have two wishes and the other only one". A Serb said: "I am very modest, I'll have one wish. Let my Albanian friend have two". "What is your first wish?", the Ginnie asked Albanian. "I wish that there are no Serbs in Kosovo at all any more". "Done", said the Ginnie. " What is your second wish?" "I wish that whole of Kosovo is surrounded with high wall, so no more Serbs can return ever again". " Done", said the Ginnie. "Now you", sad the Ginnie to a Serb, "What is that you wish?". A Serb was thinking for a moment, than asked the Ginnie: "Are there realy no more Serbs in Kosovo at all?". "That's right", said the Ginnie. "And whole of Kosovo is surrounded with high wall?", a Serb asked again. "It certainly is. All around. Not even a fly could enter it now", the Ginnie replied. Then Serb said: "OK, now fill it up with water""
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has 77.29 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, ethnic, friendship, genie
Two children, Johnny and Alex were sitting outside a clinic. Alex was crying very loudly. Johnny: Why are you crying? Alex: I came here for a blood test. Johnny: So? Are you afraid? Alex: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger. After hearing this Johnny started weeping making Alex feel surprised as well as curious and Alex asked: Why are you crying now? Johnny: I came for a urine test!
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has 77.22 % from 963 votes. More jokes about: black humor, hospital
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
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has 77.02 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, life, war
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
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has 76.99 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven
Strong people don't put other people down. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
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has 76.89 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fitness
I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
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has 76.88 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, funeral, money, old people
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, time
What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall.
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has 76.58 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: black humor, music
Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”. Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have a color TV”.
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has 76.54 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, work