The best black humor jokes

What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile.
Vote: has 75.66 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Vote: has 75.57 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion? "Ask your sister" "I don't have a..."
Vote: has 75.28 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

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What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, hospital, time
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, black humor, relationship, time
I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying "Fireworks". How right they were.
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

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A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news." The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?" "The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life." "Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?" The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
Vote: has 74.89 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
It's a slow day in heaven, so St. Peter decides to show a new guy around. St. Peter shows him all of the sights: the golf course, library, observation deck, cafeteria and a huge room full of clocks. "What's up with those clocks, Peter?" "Everyone on Earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the gates to be judged." The guy notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. St. Peter tells him that every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds up his clock. The guy notices one clock in the center of the ceiling with both hands whirling around at an unbelievable rate. "What's the story with that clock?" "Oh, that," St. Peter replies. That's George W. Bush's clock. We decided to use it as a fan."
Vote: has 74.86 % from 159 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, golf, heaven, political
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
Vote: has 74.78 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor