The best black humor jokes

A ship goes out to sea and crashes. 6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive and use a safety raft to float to this deserted island. Well, after spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely and sexually deprived. So they come to this agreement. All of the men will marry the one woman for a week. So the first man has her for one week, the second man has her for the second week, and so on. Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it. This goes on for five years and everyone is happy. Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets to have sex whenever she wants with a different man every week. Well, a few weeks into the fifth year, the woman dies. The first week is pretty bad, the second week is still pretty bad, the third week is getting worse, the fourth week things are just bad, real bad, and the fifth week is just awful. It’s getting so very bad that on the sixth week they buried her.
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has 77.43 % from 790 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, desert island, marriage, sex
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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has 77.41 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
Two children, Johnny and Alex were sitting outside a clinic. Alex was crying very loudly. Johnny: Why are you crying? Alex: I came here for a blood test. Johnny: So? Are you afraid? Alex: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger. After hearing this Johnny started weeping making Alex feel surprised as well as curious and Alex asked: Why are you crying now? Johnny: I came for a urine test!
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has 77.30 % from 971 votes. More jokes about: black humor, hospital
There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working on the top of a cliff. The Englishman said, "If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff." The Scotsman said, "If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The Irishman said, "If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The next day, the Englishman had cheese, the Irishman had ham, and the Scotsman had jam. So they all jumped. At the funerals, the wives of the Scotsman and Englishman said, "Why didn't they just tell us they didn't like their sandwiches?" The Irish lady said, "I don't know why my husband jumped off the cliff. He made his own sandwiches."
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has 77.23 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: black humor, funeral, husband, racist, wife
What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.
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has 77.17 % from 215 votes. More jokes about: black humor, music
Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes? A: The execution.
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has 77.10 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: black humor, terrorist
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, time
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
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has 76.95 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
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has 76.75 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, funeral, money, old people
Old man: "Can you give me an erection?" Faith Healer: "I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer. But, I'm sorry I cannot raise the 'dead'."
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has 76.73 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, death, old people