The best black humor jokes

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
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has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, prison, women
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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has 77.03 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, time
It's a slow day in heaven, so St. Peter decides to show a new guy around. St. Peter shows him all of the sights: the golf course, library, observation deck, cafeteria and a huge room full of clocks. "What's up with those clocks, Peter?" "Everyone on Earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the gates to be judged." The guy notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. St. Peter tells him that every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds up his clock. The guy notices one clock in the center of the ceiling with both hands whirling around at an unbelievable rate. "What's the story with that clock?" "Oh, that," St. Peter replies. That's George W. Bush's clock. We decided to use it as a fan."
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has 77.02 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: black humor, golf, heaven, political
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
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has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health, kids
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people. It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch. Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
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has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, geography, memory, money, old people
A Serb and an Albanian from Kosovo found a lamp, rubbed it and the Ginnie showed up in front of them. "I will grant you three wishes for setting me free out of this lamp. But, since there are two of you, one can have two wishes and the other only one". A Serb said: "I am very modest, I'll have one wish. Let my Albanian friend have two". "What is your first wish?", the Ginnie asked Albanian. "I wish that there are no Serbs in Kosovo at all any more". "Done", said the Ginnie. " What is your second wish?" "I wish that whole of Kosovo is surrounded with high wall, so no more Serbs can return ever again". " Done", said the Ginnie. "Now you", sad the Ginnie to a Serb, "What is that you wish?". A Serb was thinking for a moment, than asked the Ginnie: "Are there realy no more Serbs in Kosovo at all?". "That's right", said the Ginnie. "And whole of Kosovo is surrounded with high wall?", a Serb asked again. "It certainly is. All around. Not even a fly could enter it now", the Ginnie replied. Then Serb said: "OK, now fill it up with water""
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has 76.68 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, ethnic, friendship, genie
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
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has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working on the top of a cliff. The Englishman said, "If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff." The Scotsman said, "If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The Irishman said, "If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The next day, the Englishman had cheese, the Irishman had ham, and the Scotsman had jam. So they all jumped. At the funerals, the wives of the Scotsman and Englishman said, "Why didn't they just tell us they didn't like their sandwiches?" The Irish lady said, "I don't know why my husband jumped off the cliff. He made his own sandwiches."
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has 76.64 % from 229 votes. More jokes about: black humor, funeral, husband, racist, wife
A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
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has 76.54 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: black humor
W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing? A: Everywhere.
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has 76.53 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: black humor