The best black humor jokes

A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
Vote:
has 76.86 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Black humour is like a pair of legs. Not everyone has it.
Vote:
has 76.86 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Join the Army, meet some fascinating people, then kill them.
Vote:
has 76.51 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, war
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
Vote:
has 76.26 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven
There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working on the top of a cliff. The Englishman said, "If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff." The Scotsman said, "If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The Irishman said, "If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The next day, the Englishman had cheese, the Irishman had ham, and the Scotsman had jam. So they all jumped. At the funerals, the wives of the Scotsman and Englishman said, "Why didn't they just tell us they didn't like their sandwiches?" The Irish lady said, "I don't know why my husband jumped off the cliff. He made his own sandwiches."
Vote:
has 76.20 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: black humor, funeral, husband, racist, wife
Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention? A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
Vote:
has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: black humor, mean, time, vulgar, work
Funeral jokes are the best - they never die...
Vote:
has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor, funeral
Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
Vote:
has 75.83 % from 244 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals? A: He went down really well!
Vote:
has 75.77 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?" His friend nods. "Sure." "Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..." He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin. His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment. "Dude, that is not cool." The doctor, indignant, defended himself. "What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients." His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
Vote:
has 75.66 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, dirty, doctor, friendship
<<<11121314
More jokes →
Page 11 of 52.