The best black humor jokes

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
Vote: has 75.60 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working on the top of a cliff. The Englishman said, "If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff." The Scotsman said, "If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The Irishman said, "If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The next day, the Englishman had cheese, the Irishman had ham, and the Scotsman had jam. So they all jumped. At the funerals, the wives of the Scotsman and Englishman said, "Why didn't they just tell us they didn't like their sandwiches?" The Irish lady said, "I don't know why my husband jumped off the cliff. He made his own sandwiches."
Vote: has 75.41 % from 181 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, funeral, husband, racist, wife
A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
Vote: has 75.20 % from 106 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, funeral
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
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More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people. It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch. Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, geography, memory, money, old people
Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.
Vote: has 74.80 % from 172 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals? A: He went down really well!
Vote: has 74.72 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, food
First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?" Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
Vote: has 74.43 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
Vote: has 74.28 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, food


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