The best black humor jokes

Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body. I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
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has 75.27 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, cop, death, gym
This could be considered the ideal world for many men: His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties. His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy. A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
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has 75.18 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, family, life, men
It's a slow day in heaven, so St. Peter decides to show a new guy around. St. Peter shows him all of the sights: the golf course, library, observation deck, cafeteria and a huge room full of clocks. "What's up with those clocks, Peter?" "Everyone on Earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the gates to be judged." The guy notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. St. Peter tells him that every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds up his clock. The guy notices one clock in the center of the ceiling with both hands whirling around at an unbelievable rate. "What's the story with that clock?" "Oh, that," St. Peter replies. That's George W. Bush's clock. We decided to use it as a fan."
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has 75.12 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: black humor, golf, heaven, political
I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store. I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...
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has 75.01 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.
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has 74.76 % from 367 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.
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has 74.73 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, money
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
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has 74.69 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: black humor, lawyer
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
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has 74.68 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, food, relationship
A blonde hops on and off a curb on a busy street, saying 54 over and over. A brunette walks by and asks what the blonde is doing. The blonde replies that she is jumping on and off the curb saying 54 over and over. The brunette joins her. Soon, the brunette gets hit by a passing car. The blonde watches as the car drives away. The blond then continues to jump on and off the curb, saying 55 over and over.
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has 74.29 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: black humor, blonde, car, communication, driving
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said "I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything." "That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer, "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?", he asked.
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has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, lawyer, money, work
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