The best black humor jokes

A daughter wakes up at 3 a.m. and asks her mother: "Mummy, tell me a fairy-tale." "Daddy will get back soon and he will tell both of us a fairy tale..."
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has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, family, husband
What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall.
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has 75.01 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: black humor, music
This old man and woman were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat it read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her very most private part was an oyster and inside it was a pearl worth $50,000 ...please advise." So the old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap..."
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has 74.73 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: black humor, old people, wife
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
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has 74.59 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: black humor, lawyer
This could be considered the ideal world for many men: His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties. His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy. A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
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has 74.54 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, family, life, men
What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile.
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has 74.51 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: black humor
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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has 74.45 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, time
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
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has 74.40 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven
I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.
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has 74.36 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black humor, money
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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has 74.36 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, democrat, funeral, money
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