The best black humor jokes

Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body. I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
Vote:
has 75.40 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, cop, death, gym
An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?" His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive." The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal. "Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot. The couple climbs in the helicopter. The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter. The couple never made a sound. The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides." The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
Vote:
has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: black humor, couple, death, money, old people
A daughter wakes up at 3 a.m. and asks her mother: "Mummy, tell me a fairy-tale." "Daddy will get back soon and he will tell both of us a fairy tale..."
Vote:
has 75.18 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, family, husband
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
Vote:
has 75.18 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, husband, love, wife
While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out. "Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."
Vote:
has 75.17 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, customer service, death, work
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Vote:
has 75.16 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: black humor, life, men, morbid, time
A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
Vote:
has 75.02 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, funeral
I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store. I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...
Vote:
has 74.86 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.
Vote:
has 74.59 % from 322 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
Vote:
has 74.49 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: black humor, lawyer
<<<11121314
More jokes →
Page 11 of 53.