Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
Q: What was so bad about being a black Jew? A: You had to sit in the back of the oven.
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer." "Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!" God replies, "You better send them up here immediately." Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them." God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you." Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket? A: Is that you coughin'?
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it's the only love they get.
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.
What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.
Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.