Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall? Art.
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: I don't know, I just like to hear them scream. Q: How do you get them out? A: Chips.
Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses? A: Because their afraid of the showers.
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson
Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day. It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.
In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters: I have a good and a bad news for you. The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots. All the sisters start whistling happily. But one of them asks: What are the bad news? Carrots came grated.
Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? A: He didn't have any arms.
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks. The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here." The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"