They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
There were four people on a plane. One of them, the Pilot. The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy. The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump! But there were only three parachutes. The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute." And he jumped off. Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!" And he jumps. The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man. The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway." The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"
What did the cannibal say when he was full? I couldn't eat another mortal.
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson
In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters: I have a good and a bad news for you. The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots. All the sisters start whistling happily. But one of them asks: What are the bad news? Carrots came grated.
Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies? A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses? A: Because their afraid of the showers.