Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching.
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses? A: Because their afraid of the showers.
Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
Q: What's blue and doesn't fit? A: A dead epileptic.
Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter? It sure gave them something to chew over.
So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!