One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow.
He said he can't walk.
The judge asks the murderer:
Why did you kill that old lady?
For money..
But you got only 20 cents
Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
Vote:
KFC in Asia?
Korean fried cat.
Vote:
In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters:
I have a good and a bad news for you.
The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots.
All the sisters start whistling happily.
But one of them asks:
What are the bad news?
Carrots came grated.
Vote:
Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.
Vote:
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
Vote:
Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing?
A: He didn't have any arms.
Vote:
There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American.
They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country.
The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi.
There is a lot of sushi in my country.
Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom.
There is too much love in my country.
Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco.
There is too much taco in my country.
Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says:
There are too much Mexicans in my country.
Vote:
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?"
Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"