Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car?
A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.
Q: How do you get 15,000 followers?
A: Run through Africa with a water bottle.
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Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket?
A: Is that you coughin'?
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How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.
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They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club.
He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy.
The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free.
The golfer agrees and takes out the robot.
While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life.
The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the robot caddies.
He informs the golfer that they don't have the robot caddies anymore.
The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened.
The golf pro tells him that members were complaining that the sun would reflect of their metallic material and into their eyes.
The golfer asks him why they didn't just paint the robots black?
The golf pro said that they did paint them into black robot caddies, but the next day, 3 of them didn't show up and the other 3 robbed the pro shop.
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Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
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How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian.
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Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.
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