Q: How do you get 15,000 followers?
A: Run through Africa with a water bottle.
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There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American.
They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country.
The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi.
There is a lot of sushi in my country.
Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom.
There is too much love in my country.
Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco.
There is too much taco in my country.
Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says:
There are too much Mexicans in my country.
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Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket?
A: Is that you coughin'?
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How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.
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How did the tugboat get AIDS?
It was rear-ended by a ferry.
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The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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I saw a girl crying, so I asked her "Where are your parents?" and she started crying even more.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
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A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club.
He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy.
The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free.
The golfer agrees and takes out the robot.
While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life.
The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the robot caddies.
He informs the golfer that they don't have the robot caddies anymore.
The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened.
The golf pro tells him that members were complaining that the sun would reflect of their metallic material and into their eyes.
The golfer asks him why they didn't just paint the robots black?
The golf pro said that they did paint them into black robot caddies, but the next day, 3 of them didn't show up and the other 3 robbed the pro shop.
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First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!"
Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people."
First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
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How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian.
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