Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket?
A: Is that you coughin'?
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Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
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How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.
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How did the tugboat get AIDS?
It was rear-ended by a ferry.
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The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers?
A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
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A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club.
He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy.
The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free.
The golfer agrees and takes out the robot.
While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life.
The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the robot caddies.
He informs the golfer that they don't have the robot caddies anymore.
The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened.
The golf pro tells him that members were complaining that the sun would reflect of their metallic material and into their eyes.
The golfer asks him why they didn't just paint the robots black?
The golf pro said that they did paint them into black robot caddies, but the next day, 3 of them didn't show up and the other 3 robbed the pro shop.
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First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!"
Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people."
First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
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How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian.
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What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ?
A Pedophiles ass.
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