What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot? A: A baby with a razor!
A single car crash kills a Mexican family. 15 people died.
"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality." "Who told you that?" "Gynecologist."
How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower.
In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters: I have a good and a bad news for you. The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots. All the sisters start whistling happily. But one of them asks: What are the bad news? Carrots came grated.
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
Q: What was so bad about being a black Jew? A: You had to sit in the back of the oven.
Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"