One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket? A: Is that you coughin'?
What did the cannibal say when he was full? I couldn't eat another mortal.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall? Art.
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American. They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country. The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi. There is a lot of sushi in my country. Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom. There is too much love in my country. Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco. There is too much taco in my country. Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says: There are too much Mexicans in my country.
First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!" Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people." First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
Did you hear about the black guy that died on the highway? He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death.