Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall? Art.
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile. In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks. The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here." The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.
Johny went to the butchery, because he wanted to buy a little brain, so he has asked the saleswoman: "have you got a little brain?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, we have." Johny has asked her: "and is the little brain still fresh?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, yesterday he has successfully solved the crossword puzzles."