How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn't have any arms.
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. "For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
How did they know that the driver had dandruff? They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast? Vitamin bills!
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket? A: Is that you coughin'?