Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.