Knock Knock Whose there? 9/11 9/11 who? I thought you said you would never forget.
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
Q: What did the cannibal do once he dumped his lady friend? A: He wiped his bottom.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters: I have a good and a bad news for you. The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots. All the sisters start whistling happily. But one of them asks: What are the bad news? Carrots came grated.
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors? A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.
The judge asks the murderer: Why did you kill that old lady? For money.. But you got only 20 cents Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.