Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles?
A: Because his wife died.
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What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.
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What did the cannibal say when he was full?
I couldn't eat another mortal.
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My dad died on 9-11.
He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing?
A: He didn't have any arms.
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Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"
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Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him:
"Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?"
Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
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Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other?
A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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The judge asks the murderer:
Why did you kill that old lady?
For money..
But you got only 20 cents
Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
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