Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks. The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here." The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"
Why is there always hot water at childbirth? In case of a stillbirth, soup.
Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac? A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"? A: He got crucified
The judge asks the murderer: Why did you kill that old lady? For money.. But you got only 20 cents Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? A: He didn't have any arms.
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry.