Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.
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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
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Two cannibals were having lunch.
"Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other.
"Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Q: What do you call a flying Jew?
A: Ashes.
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Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket?
A: Is that you coughin'?
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Why are little girls better than little boys?
Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
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Did you hear about the black guy that died on the highway?
He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death.
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My dad was a complicated man.
He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know?
Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
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