How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
How are babies and the elderly alike? Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo? A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry.
Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers? A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
Johny went to the butchery, because he wanted to buy a little brain, so he has asked the saleswoman: "have you got a little brain?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, we have." Johny has asked her: "and is the little brain still fresh?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, yesterday he has successfully solved the crossword puzzles."
Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race? A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.