A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth. The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared. The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared. The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames. Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Why did the nigger cross the road? Who the fuck cares, why is he out of the cotton field?
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ? Crib death.
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.
Only nowadays there appeared a possibility to realize yourselfe: sell your liver, kidneis, skeleton...