Q: Where does a black jew go? A: The back of the oven.
An Arabic kid joined my football team. All he did was blow the plays.
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ? Crib death.
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth. The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared. The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared. The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames. Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"
Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Only nowadays there appeared a possibility to realize yourselfe: sell your liver, kidneis, skeleton...
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.