What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
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Heres what you do:
1. Dinner
2. Kiss
3. Movie
4. Sex
5. Bring her back home
6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her?
A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
Q: Where did OP go in the explosion?
A: Everywhere.
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A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter"
The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?"
The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
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Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
Crib death.
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Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Strip chatting over a pint of goats milk.
One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son.
He's a martyr.
"Here's my second son.
He's a martyr too!"
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says , They blow up so fast, don't they?"
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How do the fairy-tales of the whites and the blacks differ?
The stories of whites start: Once upon a time...
The stories of blacks start: Yo, man, you won't believe what a f**k has happened to me...
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