What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat?
Bone appetit!
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What's red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
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My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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Heres what you do:
1. Dinner
2. Kiss
3. Movie
4. Sex
5. Bring her back home
6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
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Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp?
The kids come back.
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Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses?
A: Because their afraid of the showers.
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Daddy to his son:
I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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I had a mate who was suicidal.
He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.
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