The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
Doctor to patient: "Why are you nervous?" Patient: "Because this is the first item I am going to have An operation." Doctor: "But I am not nervous though this is going to be my first operation."
Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn't have any arms.
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads? Because they're headcases.
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’ ‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend. ‘No,’ replies the woman. ‘He wants to be cremated.’
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot? A: A baby with a razor!
What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it? The AIDS team.
Q: What is height of Suicide? A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.