Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn't have any arms.
What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’ ‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend. ‘No,’ replies the woman. ‘He wants to be cremated.’
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender!
Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die." Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
What's red and dances all around? A baby on a barbecue
What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat? Bone appetit!
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting