Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
What's red and crawls up your leg? A homesick miscarriage.
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads? Because they're headcases.
Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn't have any arms.
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’ ‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend. ‘No,’ replies the woman. ‘He wants to be cremated.’
Q: Where did OP go in the explosion? A: Everywhere.
Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.
Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once? A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.