My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Q: What is height of Suicide? A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Strip chatting over a pint of goats milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. "Here's my second son. He's a martyr too!" After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says , They blow up so fast, don't they?"
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday? A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.
Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!