A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes.
When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, "I got cold so I turned off the big fan!"
A guy goes to a house of prostitution.
He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, and he gets undressed.
She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarms rings!
She runs out of the room, with his $200 still in her hand.
He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her.
He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her.
By this time, the firemen are there.
He sees one of them and asks, "Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?"
The fireman says, "No!"
The guy then says, "Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for."
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said, "You know,it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies, "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
My blonde girlfriend went to the doctors this morning and was told she had two weeks to live.
She chose last week and this week.
A blonde's redhead decides to show her a neat way to trick people.
You put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it.
But before they do, you pull your hand away!
"That is a neat trick," thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it, but isn't all too successful.
Despite this, she decides to try it out on her blonde friend.
"Okay," she says, "I'm going to put my hand in front of my face..."
The most beautiful blonde woman you've ever seen walks into the drugstore.
She walks to the pharmacy and asks if they sell Extra-Large condoms, the cashier says yes and points her down aisle 11.
About 30 minutes go by and the pharmacist notices that the blonde is still looking at the condoms.
He decides to see if she needs any help.
He says, "Did you find the extra large condoms?"
She responds, "Yes, now I'm just waiting for someone to buy some."
A blonde and a brunette walk past a flower shop and see the brunette's boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again. Now, I'll be expected to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"
A blonde goes into a near by store and asks the clerk if she can buy the T.V. in the corner.
The store clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day and asks the same thing, and again he said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes back home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure the clerk would sell her the T.V. by now, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says she doesn't serve blondes as well.
The blond asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I'm a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her and says, "That's not a T.V.- it's a microwave!"
Vote:
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother.
When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."
He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room.
He unzips his pants and takes out his penis.
The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"