The best blonde jokes

Q:Why don't blondes get coffee breaks? A:It takes too long to retrain them.
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has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming pool when a girl begins to drown, screaming "lifesaver! lifesaver!" The blonde thinks for a moment, and then asks "cherry or grape?"
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has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?"
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common? A: You always hear about them but never see them.
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has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?  A: Humpme Dumpme.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? A: "Have another beer."
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: beer, blonde
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said, "You know,it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this, the other blonde replies, "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
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has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde's house is on fire. She runs outside and yells, "Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!" Someone else yells, "Call 911!" The blonde yells back, "What's the number?"
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone, stupid
A young man presents his fiancee to his parent. At the table, the girl needs to have a fart. After a couple of minutes they can feel a smell... The father-in-law says: Rex...! Happy that her future father-in-law blamed the dog under her chair, the girl relaxes. After a while she gives another and the father-in-law says very angry: Rex, be careful... With a very big relief, the girl farts again. Father-in-law says: Rex! Get out of there she’ll shit on you!
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has 70.07 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Three blondes witness a crime so they go to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief shows them the first mug shot. "That's not him," the first blonde states. "This man only has one eye." The chief is stunned. "He only has one eye because it's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the second blonde. "That's not him.This man only has one ear," she answers. He smacks his head. "It's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the third blonde. After viewing the photo, she says, "That's not him. This man is wearing contact lenses." "How do you know that?" "Well," she says, "he can't wear glasses with only one eye and one ear, now can he?"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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