The best blonde jokes

A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says, "Come again!" Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."
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has 70.76 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, time
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common? A: You always hear about them but never see them.
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has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?  A: Humpme Dumpme.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, friendship, stupid
Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? A: "Have another beer."
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: beer, blonde
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said, "You know,it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this, the other blonde replies, "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
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has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A young man presents his fiancee to his parent. At the table, the girl needs to have a fart. After a couple of minutes they can feel a smell... The father-in-law says: Rex...! Happy that her future father-in-law blamed the dog under her chair, the girl relaxes. After a while she gives another and the father-in-law says very angry: Rex, be careful... With a very big relief, the girl farts again. Father-in-law says: Rex! Get out of there she’ll shit on you!
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has 70.07 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Three blondes witness a crime so they go to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief shows them the first mug shot. "That's not him," the first blonde states. "This man only has one eye." The chief is stunned. "He only has one eye because it's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the second blonde. "That's not him.This man only has one ear," she answers. He smacks his head. "It's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the third blonde. After viewing the photo, she says, "That's not him. This man is wearing contact lenses." "How do you know that?" "Well," she says, "he can't wear glasses with only one eye and one ear, now can he?"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo. The manager said, "I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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