Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: She's trying to hold on to a thought.
Three blondes witness a crime so they go to the police station to identify the suspect.
The police chief shows them the first mug shot.
"That's not him," the first blonde states.
"This man only has one eye."
The chief is stunned.
"He only has one eye because it's a profile shot."
He repeats the procedure for the second blonde.
"That's not him.This man only has one ear," she answers.
He smacks his head.
"It's a profile shot."
He repeats the procedure for the third blonde.
After viewing the photo, she says, "That's not him. This man is wearing contact lenses."
"How do you know that?"
"Well," she says, "he can't wear glasses with only one eye and one ear, now can he?"
A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes.
When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, "I got cold so I turned off the big fan!"
So I asked a blonde, "Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?"
She said, "The Sun, because I can look up and see it.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One hundred: one to hold the lightbulb, the other 99 to rotate the house.
A blonde goes into a music store and asks the guy who works there where the country music CD's are.
The salesman replies, "Try the other side."
So the blonde moves to his other ear and says, "Where are the country music CD's?"
A blonde has sharp pains in her side.
The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
A young man presents his fiancee to his parent.
At the table, the girl needs to have a fart.
After a couple of minutes they can feel a smell...
The father-in-law says: Rex...!
Happy that her future father-in-law blamed the dog under her chair, the girl relaxes.
After a while she gives another and the father-in-law says very angry:
Rex, be careful...
With a very big relief, the girl farts again.
Father-in-law says:
Rex!
Get out of there she’ll shit on you!