The best blonde jokes

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath". The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs."
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried. When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD...”
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check." After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, life, time
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sport, stupid
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, disgusting, sex
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively: "How do you give shoulders?"
Vote:
has 64.73 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave.
Vote:
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer
Two blondes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven't bagged any. One hunter looks at the other and says, "I just don't understand it, why aren't we getting any ducks?" Her friend says, "I keep telling you, I just don't think we're throwing the dog high enough."
Vote:
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy. The brunette replied, "I think I'll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?" The blonde said, "I think I'm gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it."
Vote:
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!
Vote:
has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde, terrorist, women
<<<27282930
More jokes →
Page 27 of 79.