The best blonde jokes

There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt. The bad brother died. The good brother missed him despite his ways. Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there. God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment." God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
Vote: has 65.30 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, death, god, heaven, life
Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, stupid, time, work
A blonde is standing in front of a soda machine outside a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button. Suddenly, a coke comes out the machine! She continues to do this until a man waiting to use the machine becomes impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever you are doing?" The blonde turns around and says, "No chance! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm winning!"
Vote: has 65.08 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
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Two blondes are sitting on a bench at the park. One says to the other,"Hey, which is farther, California or the moon?" The other blonde says,"Well, duh! Can you see California?"
Vote: has 64.93 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
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How does a blond spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What happened when a blonde missed the Q44 bus? A: She took the Q22 twice.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there is a magical mirror If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you a wish If you lie – poof it swallows you up. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead walk into this bar. They head straight for the mirror. The redhead goes first and says “I think I’m the most beautiful woman on Earth” Poof- the mirror swallows her up. The brunette goes up to the mirror and says “I think I’m the sexiest woman on Earth” Poof – the mirror swallows her up. Last, the blonde goes up to the mirror says ” I think...” Poof!
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, beauty, blonde, ginger
A blonde complains to a brunette friend that her Internet is down. The brunette friend offers to let the blonde check her e-mail at her house. "That's OK," says the blonde. "Why don't you check it and forward me what I got?"
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
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I looked into a blonde's eyes, but all I saw was the back of her head!
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Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?  A: Gifted!
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
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