The best blonde jokes

Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl? A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, dirty, family, stupid
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow? Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles? Because it ends up behind her ears anyway!
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon? A: Far-from-thinkin.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde, disgusting, dog, food, marriage
Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it." The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff. A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on. They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation. The redhead goes first. She jumps and says "eagle!". She turns into an eagle and flies away. The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away. The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
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has 61.39 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, ginger
During her company's periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password: GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinniePhoenix When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said, "The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
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has 61.28 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, life, money
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