The best blonde jokes

Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?  A: After a dye job.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. The redhead went first. "I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!" "Okay," replied the genie. And off she went. Then the brunette went. "I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!" And off she went. The blonde started crying and said, "I wish my friends were back here!"
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath". The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs."
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours? A: Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building, who would hit the ground first? A: The brunette because the blonde would stop for directions.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, disgusting, sex
A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road. He was skeptical about hiring her, but she appeared enthusiastic and told him that she really needed the job. He explained to her that her work day would be to complete 2 miles of line on her road, and he set her up with her brushes and paint and got her started. After the first day, he was pleased to find that she did an excellent job and was able to paint 4 miles of road in her 8 hour shift. He told her that she did an excellent job and how pleased he was with her progress. On the second day, she completed painting 2 miles of road. Her supervisor was surprised that on day one she had completed twice as much work, but did not say anything, as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required anyway. He decided to just accept it, and to look forward to the next day when he was sure she would pick up her speed again. On day 3 he was shocked to learn that in her 8 hour shift, she only completed painting 1 mile of road. He called her into his office and asked her what was the problem, “On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, on your second day, 2 miles of road, and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road. Can I ask you, what is the problem?” “Well, she replied, I keep getting farther and farther from the paint can.”
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has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: blonde, time, women, work
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? From crawling across the street when the sign said, "DON'T WALK."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde goes to the doctor with both of her ears and her right hand are burned. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor. "I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear." "What about the other ear and your hand?" "I tried to call for an ambulance."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Two blondes are nailing in roof tiles. One of them is pulling nails from his jar and if they face him, he throws them away. The other blonde asks what he's doing. "Duh. I'm throwing away the defective ones." "No, stupid! Those are for the other side of the roof."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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