The best blonde jokes

Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed? She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?  A: Artificial intelligence.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?  A: Gifted!
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
A bloke walks into a bar in the bush to discover a 44 gallon drum almost overflowing with $20 notes. He sits at the bar and orders a beer. A short while later one of the locals gets up, throws $20 into the drum and walks out the back. He soon returns shaking his head disgruntled and sits down. Five more minutes pass when another local does exactly the same. The bloke asks the bartender what is the go with the drum full of 20's . The bartender says that they have a donkey out the back that has never laughed in its life. So you simply throw in the $20 and have a go, if the donkey laughs then the drum and its contents are yours. Been going ten years so far. The young bloke gets up, throws his 20 into the drum and proceeds out the back.  Within seconds the donkey his laughing its head off.  As he strolls back inside all the locals ask what he did but he won't say and simply takes the drum full of cash and leaves. 10 years goes past and the young bloke decides to pay the pub another visit. This time he sees a drum overflowing with $50 notes in the middle of the room. He goes up to the bar tender and asks again what the deal is with the drum. The bartender says that they have the same donkey still out the back and seeing as he had made it laugh, the deal was you now had to make it cry but it was a 50 not a 20. The young bloke gets up, throws in his 50 and goes out the back. About a minute later the donkey is crying his eyes out and the young man returns to the bar. The locals beg him to tell them how he has done it as it has cost them a fortune attempting it. The young bloke says that to make him laugh he told the donkey his member was bigger than the donkeys. Everyone sighed and understood how easy that was and why didn't they think of it. Now they demanded to know what tactic he had used to make the donkey cry so miserably. The young bloke replied that it was quite simple as well, he just showed it to him.
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has 60.08 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, blonde, money
Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here! Cop: Okay, calm down. Where are you? Blonde: The cemetery! Cop: *facepalm*
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has 60.08 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, death
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff. A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on. They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation. The redhead goes first. She jumps and says "eagle!". She turns into an eagle and flies away. The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away. The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
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has 60.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, ginger
A cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license. "You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it."
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A man works in the operations department of a large bank. Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers. One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer, stupid, technology, work
Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A: The rest are hunting peckers.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde, hunting
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