The best business jokes

The husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet the wife stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came back to his senses, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now. ....I think you bring me bad luck!"
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has 53.84 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: business, health, husband, marriage, wife
Q: What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe? A: An e-mergency.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: business, internet
Chuck Norris once sued a Law and Order Company because those are the trademark item names of his right and left legs.
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: business, Chuck Norris
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: business, flirt, food, money, sex
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: airplane, business, lawyer
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible? A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: bible, business, money, women
You all know why the government got rid of the mafia? They don't like completion.
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has 47.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: business, political
Johny went to the butchery, because he wanted to buy a little brain, so he has asked the saleswoman: "have you got a little brain?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, we have." Johny has asked her: "and is the little brain still fresh?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, yesterday he has successfully solved the crossword puzzles."
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor, business, customer service, little Johnny
My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals. Tired of it after several months, I said, “I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch.” “Fair enough. From now on I’ll make my own,” he replied. A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him after wards. “We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like,” he suggested. I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order. My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, “Separate checks, please…”
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: business, food, husband, old people
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beauty, business
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