Chuck Norris once sued a Law and Order Company because those are the trademark item names of his right and left legs.
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas.
They made a deal.
Chuck now owns the shop.
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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
Extra Terrestrials often visit Earth from other galaxies - they're here to see if Chuck Norris really exists.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
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When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
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Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant.
What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street...
Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
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A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.
After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife.
When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."