Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.
As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
“What are those?, asks the attendant.
“They’re called tees” replies Tiger.
“Well, what on the god’s earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman.
“They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger.
“Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “BMW thinks of everything!”
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
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Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
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Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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