The best celebrity jokes

Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the reason why Mickey mouse talks like that.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, communication
Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe. It's now called Shakey's.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, food
Voldemort once ran into Chuck Norris. He is now known as Harry Potter.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music
Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, travel
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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has 47.06 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, holiday
Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God… “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. In your case, I’m going to let you decide where you want to go!” Bill replied, “Well, thanks, God. What’s the difference between the two?” God said, “I’m willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision.” “Fine, but where should I go first?” God said, “I’m going to leave that up to you.” Bill said, “OK, then, let’s try Hell first.” So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. “This is great!” he told God, “If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!” “Fine,” said God and off they went. Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. “Hmm, I think I prefer Hell” he told God. “Fine,” retorted God, “as you desire.” So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. “How’s everything going, Bill?” God asked. Bill responded – his voice full of anguish and disappointment, “This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can’t believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?” God says, “That was the screen saver”.
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has 47.06 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: car, celebrity, death, god, IT
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island? A: He wanted maximum isolation.
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has 46.53 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, desert island, fitness
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