Q: Why cant stevie wonder read?
A: Cuz hes black
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
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If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be?
Chocolate filled.
Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it.
Why?
Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex.
No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
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If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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