Q: Why cant stevie wonder read? A: Cuz hes black
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be? Chocolate filled.
Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it. Why? Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex. No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
Charlie Sheen winning? Chuck Norris says "I think not."
Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
Bruce Wayne first tried wearing a Chuck Norris mask to inspire fear, until he saw himself in the mirror. He immediately changed to the Batman
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.