Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Bruce lee does not drink water, he drinks WATAAAA.
Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.
If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers? He promised to create jobs for them if elected.
When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.
Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...