Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
Bill Gates was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. Bill Gates looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
James Bond got this email from a friend: CanYouPleaseFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving? A: He was very thinkful.
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day? A: TWERKY!