The best celebrity jokes

Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph. Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, sport
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, cop, death, work
Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, divorce, marriage, wife, women
Chuck Norris is the reason why Mickey mouse talks like that.
has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, communication
Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it. Why? Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex. No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, marriage, sex, wife
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, love
Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island? A: He wanted maximum isolation.
has 47.06 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, desert island, fitness
How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers? He promised to create jobs for them if elected.
has 46.90 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black people, celebrity, political, racist, work
Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music
Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music, sex
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