Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
Whats the difference between usain bolt and hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race...
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
Pawn Stars: Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?" Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
Every time you're sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
When somebody is totally angry, why not say: "Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris