Yo momma so black Batman came and said damn b*tch I thought I was the dark night.
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies? A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
Pawn Stars: Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?" Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks. ''What's your name?'' The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'' ''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.'' The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay,what's your name?'' The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.'' ''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?'' ''Yeah, he's my dad.'' ''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer. ''Do you have any collateral?'' The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?'' The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.'' ''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.'' The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.'' The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.''
Steve Jobs was an amazing man. He will live in my hard drive forever!